Key facts
- Sarah Reeve insisted her fiancé Lee pay off his debt before they married.
- Lee paid off a £2,000 loan taken out for a car.
- The couple has been together for 25 years and shares a joint bank account.
- Sarah manages the household finances, including bills, savings, and mortgage overpayments.
- Research indicates over four-fifths of women are actively involved in managing daily finances.
Sarah Reeve, now 45, met her fiancé Lee in their early 20s. At the time, Sarah was managing her mortgage and bills, while Lee contributed rent to his mother. When they became engaged, Sarah presented Lee with an ultimatum: he had to clear his debts before she would agree to marry him.
Lee had taken out a £2,000 loan to purchase a car, which Sarah stated she would not marry him if he still had outstanding. This led them to set a wedding date two years in the future, providing Lee with the necessary time to repay the loan, which would be equivalent to £4,000 in today's money. Once Lee's debt was settled, the couple consolidated all their finances into a joint account. Sarah then assumed responsibility for managing their bills, savings, and overall budget, as Lee admitted he was not adept with financial matters.
Sarah, who works part-time in insurance earning £24,000 annually, and Lee, who previously worked in factory maintenance for 27 years earning approximately £26,000 before being made redundant, now earn around £30,000 each in property maintenance. They have been together for 25 years and have two daughters, aged 19 and 21. The couple views their money as a shared resource, a sentiment Sarah values, particularly given she took four years off work when their children were young.
Since clearing his debt, the couple has avoided overspending and has consistently made extra payments on their mortgage. Sarah highlights their consistent saving habits, stating, "We've also always been savers - well, I've been the saver for us." She meticulously tracks their account balances monthly to identify any financial discrepancies or reasons for a difficult month.
Family Action, a charity providing financial assistance to families, advises that during tight financial periods, the initial step should be to gain a clear understanding of the financial situation to facilitate informed decision-making. Sarah, however, sometimes feels the burden of financial responsibility rests solely on her shoulders, wishing Lee would take more ownership. Lee, described as not money-oriented, is content with Sarah making financial decisions, stating, "I met you and I had nothing, so I don't care if I have nothing." Despite this, Sarah felt the pressure of planning for their future.
Sarah initially lacked the confidence to manage their savings or investments, believing one needed substantial wealth to consult a financial adviser. Following her widowed mother's positive experience with an adviser, Sarah decided to seek guidance herself. The adviser discussed their spending habits, risk tolerance, and future expenses like holidays and home improvements, which significantly boosted Sarah's confidence and shifted their financial perspective towards long-term planning.
Sarah notes that her daughters have internalized her financial prudence. Her eldest daughter, having saved from a part-time job, has already purchased her first home. Sarah has advised her on mortgage overpayments and financial protection now that her boyfriend has moved in, observing, "We've rubbed off on them." She anticipates her daughters will likely be more financially controlled than previous generations.
Reflecting on her experience, Sarah emphasizes the importance of addressing debt proactively and not assuming financial habits will naturally improve. She advises setting clear goals and developing a strategy to achieve them.